For God sake, Never Again 'Till Time Tells

How can I forget her
She’s the one who lied to me
She’s the one who set me up

How can I forget her
She’s the only girl I’ve ever touched
She’s the only girl I’ve ever want

Days when we’re together
Are sweetest
Days when we’re gather
Are best
It’s all now just
Sad sweet past
Memories fraught of pain
Games I won’t have again

May God be on my side
For this pain I have inside
May God mercy me
For I had adultery with thee

May God help me
For I’m trying to be


Jakarta, December 11th, 1996

SOMETHING TO DECIDE

Anger really bothers
Make me rather
To blubber
The conceit in me
I don’t care
I must be aware
It’s easy to say
But hard to stay
Lot easier than I thought
Lot harder than I thought
The things I see
The things I feel
The good, the bad
The fraud about to fade
I love but I hate
Enough for confusion
Time for betterment
Don’t you get in my way
Or I’ll have you slay
Get lost, out of my sight
I don’t care your agony inside
I love to be alone at night
This is something I have to decide
The price is my pride
I don’t have to cry
This is something I have to decide


Jakarta, may 30th, 1994

My LIFETIME

My LIFETIME


I’ve spent a lifetime
To make you happy
But see what I got
You scowled me

I’ve spent a lifetime
To make you proud
But see what you do
I got you grouch

Now I know why
Now I got the answer
Your love is the reason
Your possession
Your pride
Is the truth

I’ve spent a lifetime
Being someone I didn’t know
Being a stranger in this body of mine
I’ve been prisoned by your shadow
Now I see my soul flow
But can’t find
A way to show

I’ve spent a lifetime
Torture myself
In the cage
Put myself
In the blames
I see freedom across the bars
I feel happiness out of the cage
I got peace breaking the jail
But still I return…..


Jakarta, 13 desember 1993

YOU'RE MY EVERYTHING

I left my friends out of the door
For you that I adore
I don’t care what they say about you
This is me longing for you
This feeling inside
Is something I can’t hide
I’ll against all rule
I’ll be your fool
I don’t care
As long as I’m the only you care
I don’t care
As long as I’m the one you bear
I don’t care
As long as you there
No matter how far you go
No matter how fast you run
My mind will always flow
Each time see you my only sun
Thy past is so sad
Similarity we had
Thy past is so bitter
Will you let me make your future better
I love you
This isn’t something new
But when I see you
I knew you’ve wiped out all my blues
It’s truly a blessed
For I had you always
It’s truly a gift
For you my reason to live


Jakarta, April 23rd, 1997

After the Solitude

Back at home after three week long in solitude. Away from things i love, everyone i love. Away from everything that actually i'll never can let go nor let me go. The distance was inevitable. The distance was much needed. It gives me a chance to think and rethink. It shows me things closer than ever.
The loneliness was familiar yet still painful. At the end of the day, it gives me new perspective of how life goes on with or without me. With or without my approval. Despise as i can, life still loves me as it was always. And the strange thing was, no matter how fierce my denial was, can't really let life slip away from my breath.
Truth or not, life doesn't really care. All it care about is, live, or be left. All it does is just surround me with all it's glitters, all it's complications. Love will never rule life. Nothing in this world can rule life. Confusion is just tiny cost for all the promises. Woe or bliss, up to you to take it my dear readers, there's always choices and chances in life.